第138章
“my dear lizzy, where can you have been walking to”was a question which elizabeth received from jane as soon as she entered their room,and from all the others when they sat down to table she had only to say in reply, that they had wandered about, till she was beyond her own knowledge she coloured as she spoke; but neither that, nor anything else, awakened a suspicion of the truth
the evening passed quietly,unmarked by anything extraordinary the acknowledged lovers talked and laughed,the unacknowledged were silent darcy was not of a disposition in which happiness overflows in mirth;and elizabeth,agitated and confused,rather knew that she was happy than felt herself to be so;for,besides the immediate embarrassment,there were other evils before hershe anticipated what would be felt in the family when her situation became known;she was aware that no one liked him but jane;and even feared that with the others it was a dislike which not all his fortune and consequence might do away
at night she opened her heart to jahough suspicion was very far from miss ben"s general habits, she was absolutely incredulous here
“you are joking,lizzythis cannot be!—engaged to mrdarcy! no,no,you shall not deceive mei know it to be impossible”
“this is a wretched beginning indeed!my sole dependence was on you;and i am sure nobody else will believe me,if you do not yet,indeed,i am in earnesti speak nothing but the truthhe still loves me,and we are engaged”
jane looked at her doubtingly“oh,lizzy!it cannot bei know how much you dislike him”
“you know nothing of the matter that is all to be forgot perhaps i did not always love him so well as i do nowbut in such cases as these,a good memory is unpardonablethis is the last time i shall ever remember it myself”
miss ben still looked all amazement elizabeth again, and more seriously assured her of its truth
“good heaven!can it be really so!yet now i must believe you,”cried jane“my dear,dear lizzy,i would—i do congratulate you—but are you certainforgive the question—are you quite certain that you can be happy with him”
“there can be no doubt of thatit is settled between us already, that we are to be the happiest couple in the worldbut are you pleased,janeshall you like to have such a brother”
“very,very muchnothing could give either bingley or myself more delightbut we considered it,we talked of it as impossible and do you really love him quite well enough oh, lizzy! do anything rather than marry without affectionare you quite sure that you feel what you ought to do”
“oh, yes!you will only think i feel more than i ought to do, when i tell you all”
“what do you mean”
“why,i must confess that i love him better than i do bingleyi am afraid you will be angry”
“my dearest sister,now be seriousi want to talk very seriously let me know every thing that i am to know,without delaywill you tell me how long you have loved him”
“it has been ing on so gradually,that i hardly know when it began but i believe i must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at pemberley”
another entreaty that she would be serious,however,produced the desired effect; and she soon satisfied jane by her solemn assurances of attachmentwhen convinced on that article,miss ben had nothing further to wish
“now i am quite happy,”said she,“for you will be as happy as myselfi always had a value for himwere it for nothing but his love of you, i must always have esteemed him; but now, as bingley"s friend and your husband,there can be only bingley and yourself more dear to mebut lizzy,you have been very sly,very reserved with me how little did you tell me of what passed at pemberley and lambton!i owe all that i know of it to another, not to you”
elizabeth told her the motives of her secrecy she had been unwilling to mention bingley;and the unsettled state of her own feelings had made her equally avoid the name of his friendbut now she would no longer conceal from her his share in lydia"s marriage all was acknowledged, and half the night spent in conversation
“good gracious!”cried mrsben,as she stood at a window the next morning,“if that disagreeable mrdarcy is not ing here again with our dear bingley!what can he mean by being so tiresome as to be always ing herei had no notion but he would go a-shooting, or something or other, and not disturb us with his panywhat shall we do with him lizzy, you must walk out with him again,that he may not be in bingley"s way”
elizabeth could hardly help laughing at so convenient a proposal;yet was really vexed that her mother should be always giving him such an epithet
as soon as they entered,bingley looked at her so expressively, and shook hands with such warmth,as left no doubt of his good information; and he soon afterwards said aloud,“mrs ben, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which lizzy may lose her way again to-day”
“i advise mrdarcy,and lizzy,and kitty,”said mrsben,“to walk to oakham mount this morningit is a nice long walk,and mrdarcy has never seen the view”
“it may do very well for the others,”replied mrbingley;“but i am sure it will be too much for kittywon"t it,kitty”
kitty owned that she had rather stay at homedarcy professed a great curiosity to see the view from the mount,and elizabeth silently consentedas she went upstairs to get ready,mrsben followed her,saying:
“i am quite sorry,lizzy,that you should be forced to have that disagreeable man all to yourself, but i hope you will not mind itit is all for jane"s sake,you know;and there is no occasion for talking to him,except just now and thenso,do not put yourself to inconvenience”